There is so much to be said about dating and relationships, but one thing has become abundantly clear to me: Women will so easily give an excuse to a guy instead of just saying no.
Just think about the last time, you lied about being in a relationship or you said you were “waiting on a friend,” when in reality you were just trying to find a way out of the situation. When did our no stop being enough? When was the last time we actually said no firmly and with confidence?
Here’s an insider tip: a man will understand your no, a boy will not, but either way, it is not your problem. Your only responsibility is to speak your truth.
It’s about time we stop protecting the male ego and instead be on the lookout for ourselves. A guy can certainly shoot his shot, and that can always be a perfect time to show him how great you are at defense. Now, there will be times where you will want to say yes, and I encourage you to do so! Be brave, make the first move if you want. Don’t be afraid to say yes to someone you may be interested in. More importantly, don’t be afraid to say no to someone you have no interest in.
One of the best skills we can ever learn is how to be confident when speaking about our truth and experience. It comes in handy at work, in the classroom, and even when shutting down the advances of someone we don’t want to be speaking to. There is no instance in which you should be more afraid of a guy’s ego that your own safety.
The Main Idea: women’s no is enough. We don’t have to say any more than no. How a man reacts to said rejection, is on them. Women have zero control over the emotions and reactions of men and we should not be held to the standard that we have to be their protectors the whole time.
The Big Question: what conversation needs to be had between men and women in order for the above to become our new normal?
The Anecdote: This is something that happens so frequently. I can’t tell you how many times I felt the need to flip my ring and put it on my left hand in order to thwart off men who were trying to hit on me. It makes you uncomfortable and in some instances scared and ultimately you just feel rubbed the wrong way. So many times did I run through every excuse in the book just to get away. In conversation with a guy friend of mine, I realized, I can just say no and walk away. Not everyone deserves an explanation from me because my no is enough.
The Challenge: I challenge any woman or man reading this, to try just saying no when someone comes to hit on you. Feel the power course through your veins like Olivia Pope walking through the White House. Feel your no rise from your gut to your heart to your lips. Then say it, speak the words into existence and let them settle on the person it is meant to hit. You CAN do it. Because at the end of the day, you need to come first.
XO,
LJ
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